Candi's Reaction

When Drew first came out, I was a little worried.  It was too quiet.  I thought babies came out screaming.  Jonathan cut the umbilical cord.  The doctor held her up to let me see her and then she went to the little baby warmer thing to have all her stuff done.  As the nurses were trying to get me situated, I kept looking at what they were doing to her.  Jonathan was with her the entire time.  During the quiet, I tried to read his face to make sure everything was okay.  He had been so fantastic during this whole process.  I don’t think I breathed easy until they gave her the Vitamin K shot and she finally screamed.  That is when Jonathan looked at me and smiled. Then I finally felt myself breathe out. 

Only then did I start to notice little details of her.  She was born with a head full of hair.  Her fingers were really long.  Her hair was dark.  Nose was a bit rounded.  Things like that. 

When they finished with her at the baby warmer, they handed her to me.  I attempted to nurse her for the first time.  I can’t remember if we did a decent job or not as I was a bit mesmerized. 

If I had to use a single word for how I felt during all this, I would have to say that word would be “awe”.  I was in awe that she was out.  I was in awe that she was ours.  I was in awe of her hair, her skin, her fingers.  I was in awe that the labor and delivery was over.  I was in awe that we were parents.  I was in awe of the whole scenario.  It was all a bit surreal.  I thought being pregnant was surreal! 

Lastly, I feel as if this time happened all too fast.  I feel like I have already forgotten important details of her entry into this world.  I feel like I have forgotten exactly how I saw her on that first look.  Before I knew it, they came to take her to the nursery for the rest of her checks and her bath and they came to escort me out of the delivery room into a recovery room. 

I did know at that moment that my life was changed forever.  However, I did not feel some big revelation that many people talk about.  It was just there.  Not a big deal…just lying right underneath the surface.  Here was someone I would love everyday of my life unconditionally, regardless of anything else that may happen.  No big A-Ha moment.  Just this bit of truth that I now knew.

My nose is so huge in this picture...lol

~ Candi