Drew - Month Four

June 9th

Dear Drew -

Well another month has passed.  It seems as if they are going faster and faster.  This has been a big month for both of us.  It has been heart mending to see you adapt so well to daycare.  The teachers really do seem to care for you.  It will never be easy to drop you off each morning, but I know that it is the best for us. 

You are getting so big!  Sitting in your Bumbo seat and holding your head so straight.  You love the Bumbo, because it allows you to see everything that is going on around you.

We loved watching your first experience in the pool.  We believe you are going to be a waterbaby, which is perfectly fine by us.  We are looking forward to the many memories we will make near the water in future years. 

You have also outgrown the bassinet.  We have officially moved you to sleeping in your pack and play.  All this growth will always be bittersweet.  On one hand, it is awe inspiring to witness how much you learn and grow and crave more.  You bring new beauty to the smallest of tasks.  On the other hand, we would love just to pause time for a little while and enjoy right now. 

Your personality is really starting to come out and we love to witness glimpses of you.  It will be interesting to watch it all really bloom.  Whatever the personality type, we can't wait to learn of it with you!

I love you everyday!
~ Mom

1st time in the Pool

June 2012

Drew went in the pool for the first time!  We were so expecting a response, but we were to be disappointed.  As I lowered her into the pool, she had no reaction what-so-ever.  After she was in, she loved it.  We may just have a water baby on our hands.

Dustin was kind enough to let Drew use this float while we were in the pool.

Hanging with Daddy

Loved making splashes with Aunt Mandy

She absolutely loved it!



Visitors

May - June 2012

Drew still loves to get visitors or to go meet up with people.  With us for parents, she really has no choice but to be social.

 

Nana tries to come visit at least once a month!  We love seeing her!

Amber came to visit!  We had such a good time with her.

Sydney came with Amber.  She was so good with Drew.

Finally, Drew got to meet Lexi and Jeff!  We hope our next visit with them will not be too long of a wait.

 

A New Kind of Happiness

May 2012

Recently, I watched "What to Expect When You Are Expecting."  Cute movie.  Loved the way they portrayed different types of coming into parenthood.  Yet, still it is just what it is...a movie.

Anyway, thre is a line said by a dad:  "Welcome to where happiness ends" or something to that effect.  I have heard this so many times:  about parenthood, marriage, engagements, etc.  And even as I am watching my 3 month daughther sleep, I have to confess -- I believe that statement to be true.  Happiness does somewhat end at each of these occurances.  Let me explain.

Happiness is a very subjective term.  It means different things to different people.  Heck, it means different things to the same person at different phases of their life.  Happiness is ever changing and evolving to meet a person's life at that very moment.  What made me happy 15, 10, 5 years ago may or may not make me happy today.  And I know that everything I knew about happiness has changed.  Three months and nine days ago, at 11:53pm, happiness, as I knew it, was gone.

The happiness that I believe in now could never have existed in my mind before that time.  This happiness could have only come with the birth of my first child.  And if that event had never happened, I would have continued to live thinking that my prior happiness was all I needed...and I would have been right.

So, I just need to remember to grasp today's happiness, because it will one day end, only to be replaced by a different kind of unknown happiness. 

Today, this is what my happiness looks like.

 

First Cold

May 2012

Five days after starting daycare, Drew got her first cold.  She was so congested one nite that she awoke multiple times and just had a hard time sleeping.  It was after that nite that I decided to take her to the pediatrician.  Our prescription was just to allow her to sleep at an incline, keep her nose clear, and turn the humidifier on. 

At first, we attempted to let her sleep in her bouncy seat b/c the incline was better, but she kept sliding down and just did not look comfy.

Finally, we ended up letting her sleep with her Boppy.  This option scares me a little, so I check on her more throughout the nite.

 

Our poor girl and her first cold.

Bath Time

June 2012

Luckily, Drew loves bathtime.  She even does not mind it when we squirt her in the face with the water.  Hopefully, this will continue.

Drew has very little hair, but that did not stop us from trying to put it into a mohawk.

Side View

Edited a bit with instagram

Family Picnic

May 18, 2012

It was such a beautiful day on this day!  Jonathan and I decided to meet at Clinton Nature Preserve and have an outside picnic for dinner.

Big girl in her Bumbo seat

Just enjoying her toys in the sunshine

Notice how she is holding her own hands.  She does this a lot.

She loves being outside!

This is also the day that our girl moved out of the bassinet and into her pack and play.  Oh, if only I could slow down time.

1st Day of Daycare

May 14, 2012

May 14th was Drew's first day at day care.  After 13 wonderful weeks, I had to go back to work at the office. 

I took her in, unloaded all her stuff, spoke with her teacher, gave her lots of hugs and kisses, and then I was on my way.  As I was walking out the door, the front desk lady handed me an envelope.  I assumed it was some Welcome letter or something of the sort so I didn't look at it at first.

I made it to the sidewalk before I started crying.  I cried all the way to my parked car.  I just sat there for a moment trying to get myself together.  It was then that I really looked at the envelope.  The letter was not from the daycare at all.  It was a letter from Jonathan to me. 

Candi,

Did you ever really do the math from the time that our daughter was born until she would be going to daycare?  I know you didn't but that is what I am here for, I am the numbers guy.  It has been thirteen whole weeks and somehow you got an extra week out of the office.  Ninety-five days ago we were blessed with the most beautiful gift in the world.  Even though I had made my jokes about how I wished she would come out looking like me, beard and all, so hopefully I would never have to deal with her dating.  Well apparently I'm being forced to learn that what I want will very seldom matter anymore.  I could not ask for a better friend and lover to me or a better mother for our daughter.  There are no words  that can describe our appreciation and no amount of money that could possibly make up for the things that you do for the both of us.  I know that my time with Drew flew by and before I knew it three weeks had passed and I had to return to work.

That brings us to the present time, you sitting in your car after dropping her off at daycare for the first time and reading this letter.  I know that this is much harder on you than it is for me.  Scientific research shows that it only takes twenty-one days to form a habit so your time is ticking until you are okay and comfortable with this.  You just need to remember that we have done our research and made the decision that we found to be best for us.  We went to four different daycares and this is the one that made the cut.  We know that she is in good hands and that everything is going to be fine, we just have to remember that.  So now is the time that you need to  take a deep breath and count to ten because the show must go on.  Remember my old saying, "If your life were a movie, would anyone want to watch it?"  Well now is the time that we must go out and get two thumbs up and five stars baby.  Now we hae the star for our show that we never knew we needed.

Well it is now time to put that car in drive and head down the road so you can put about four hours of actual work in during an eight hour day.  The time will fly by so quickly that five will be here before you know it and you will be on your way home.  I hope you have a fantastic day at work and best of luck to ya'll in trivia tonight.  We love you more than you may ever know.

Love, Daddy

P.S. Can you add up all those red numbers real quick for me?  171

Now look in your glove box and you will find that many kisses from Drew and I to help you get through the day.

Well, of course this sweet letter just made me cry harder.  But it also reminded me of all the reasons why I chose Jonathan - to be my best friend, my lover, and now the father to our child.  He knows just what to do at the times when I need it most. 

I made it through the day, got to leave work a bit early, and gave Drew and extra long hug when I picked her up.

I still carry this letter in my pocketbook.  I like to read it from time to time.  It always makes me tear up, but at the same time a smile comes through.  That smile is in anticipation of our future together with our new "star".

Mother's Day

May 13, 2012
Mother's Day

Today is my first Mother's Day.  Jonathan knew just what I wanted - to have an easy, lazy day with my baby girl.  I want to cherish all parts of this day, because it is a bit bittersweet.  Today is the last day before I have to go back to work.  My parents came to visit and afterwards, Drew and I took the best nap in the chair together.  Lots of cuddles for this day.

As the day grew into evening, I could feel my anxiety growing.  I didn't want this day to end.  I didn't want things to change.  But as it always does, day turned into night and it was time to put Drew to bed.  During our nighttime routine of rocking Drew to sleep, I couldn't help but to watch her with tears in my eyes.  I cried during this whole process.

When I came out, Jonathan just held me.  He knew this was rough for me.  During that nite, I wrote a letter to Drew.  Its contents are below:

Dear Drew,

Today was our first Mother's Day together.  It was very low key and wonderful, but also, quite bittersweet.  Your Nana and Pops were here and we just lounged around for most of the day.  You and I took the best nap together in the big chair.  Daddy even took a picture of us.

However, it is also such a sad day.  You see, tomorrow Mommy has to go back to work and you start daycare.  So as I am sitting here getting you to sleep, I am fighting back tears because as of tomorrow, everything changes.

I have been lucky to be able to stay home with you for these 13 weeks, watching you bloom from an extension of a fetus to a real life baby.  I have loved being there for your first smile, first coo, first laugh out loud, first time you held something in your hands.  I am terrified of all the firsts I am now going to miss, but I guess it can still be a first if it is the first time you do it for us.

Tomorrow, our lives change from spending all day together to only getting maybe 4 hours of awake time a day.  It just doesn't feel right.  I have a new soft spot for your dad because, he had to make this transition when you were just 3 weeks old.

I now understand why so many people choose to stay home.  I did not get it before, but as I look at you, the epitome of love, I am crying at the thought of spending my day without you tomorrow.

Going back to work is the right decision for our family.  I do not doubt that.  I just want you to realize how much it really does break my heart.

I love you everyday.

Mom

I still believe that going back to work is the right decision for us right now, but that decision never gets easier.  As I am writing this blog post, I am crying as if it were happening all over again.  All I can do is make the time I do get with my baby girl each day matter.  That may mean that at times my house may be a little messy, or the laundry may be a little behind, but none of that matters...not anymore.

3 month pictures

May 11, 2012

It was that time again to let Stephanie capture how our baby has grown.  She is so funny when it comes to cameras.  She refused to give Stephanie a smile while the camera is up.  All smiles until she sees that camera.  Even still, Stephanie managed to get some beautiful pictures.

Our first family portrait!  You can really see my traits in her here.

Serious Drew

This dress was given to her by her Nana, Pops, and Uncle Drew.

This is my favorite.  Isn't she beautiful?

We had to get this one because this is a typical Drew face.  Love it!

Bumbo Seat

May 8, 2012

We have patiently waited as Drew learned how to control her neck muscles in order to hold her head up.  She has gotten so good with it that we felt it was time to break out the Bumbo seat to see how she liked it.  It seems like she was a little unsure at first, but I know she will like the way it allows her to sit up and see everything.

Umm, what is this thing?

Love the propped up elbows here

Still unsure about it

Why do you guys just keep staring at me?

Another picture?

You looking at me?

Starting to like it