When I started all I knew was that I have friends that are able to put their nearly 3 year old to bed without rocking and she willing goes. No cries. She just says good nite and goes on up to bed. I knew that was what I wanted to happen with Drew.
Since Drew was born, Jonathan and I have either rocked or walked her to sleep. It typically doesn't take that long, and we have been lucky in that she has slept through the nite since about 2 months old. But we have never been able to just lay her down and walk away. That was the ultimate goal, but I really had no idea how to get there.
I decided that 4 months old would be the target start date for this "sleep training."
Of course, I started doing research. The good and bad thing about the internet is there is a wealth of information out there. Sometimes way too much. I started reading anything that even mentioned babies and sleep patterns.
I found that basically, there are 2 schools of thoughts when it comes to sleep training.
1) The Cry It Out supporters. This is exactly what it sounds like. Put your baby to bed and when they start crying, DO NOT go to them. These supporters believe that by allowing the baby to cry it out, he/she will learn to self soothe which will lead to a better nite's sleep.
2) Sleepy, Yet Awake - These supporters believe that you should never leave a baby crying b/c it undermines the trust they have in you. However, they teach that if you lay a baby down drowsy enough, you can teach the same basic soothing skills.
I had issues with each of these theories. First, to allow a baby to cry it out seems to make sense in theory but it is gut wrenching and a person can only take so much. Next, I love the idea of laying the baby down drowsy enough for her to go right to sleep, but Drew is never in this state. Every time I attempted this, she would become wide eyed and start to cry. (Not at all what the technique said would happen). I felt as if I needed to find something in between these two theories.
Funny enough, in this day and age and even after all the research I had done on line, I found the perfect solution for us in a good, old fashioned book. Confident Baby Care was written by Jo Frost (you know, the SuperNanny!). When I read her method for sleep training, I knew it was the right fit for us.
Instead of just laying your baby down and letting her cry it out continuously, Supernanny breaks it down into chunks of time. Lay the baby down while she is calm, walk out of the room, if she starts crying, give her 5 minutes to self soothe. If she is not calm at the end of the 5 minutes, go back in, pick her up, calm her down completely, lay her back down, and walk out again. Keep doing this in 5 minute blocks until the baby falls asleep.
This method sounded so much better to me, because it would allow me to go back in and calm her if needed, but it also, gave her some time and space to figure it out on her own. Also, it was much easier on me to know there would be point that I could go comfort her.
I was ready to start this as soon as Drew turned 4 months. It was a Monday nite, Jonathan was at trivia, I was so ready, and I failed miserably. I just couldn't do it. It broke my heart too much, so I picked her up and rocked my sweet baby to sleep. After that, I decided that she (okay, so maybe it was me) was not ready and we would wait another month.
Well that time has now come and I am happy to say that Jonathan and I have been doing it for a week now with mild success. We typically have to go comfort her after the first 5 minutes, but by the end of the next 5 minutes she is sound asleep. Hopefully, the success will continue and we can focus on tackling the next overly confusing task of parenthood.
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